Rambunctious Roommates

Have you ever had to deal with listening to a roommate and their partner getting overly rambunctious or loud during their “intimate” affairs? Did it bother you? How did you handle the situation?

Luckily I never had roommates in college who made it clear they were sexually active, but I did have a really, really loud next-door neighbor. She was in a long-term relationship and so when her beau decided to visit, all I could hear was her moaning and the bed creaking against the wall where my desk was. It made it extremely difficult to do any work, I’ll tell you that. I still remember going over one day when it was just the bed creaking, and a floormate warned me that now was not the time to knock on the door. Yeaaaaah.

Being the RA and living next door, I had a few conversations with my neighbor about it but she never once seemed to make any effort to be quieter. I had to listen to them do it in the shower as well and our entire floor shared one bathroom. Gross. Take your intimate affairs somewhere quieter, please. I blatantly went to her room as soon as they left the bathroom and told her to her face that having sex in the shower was grossly inappropriate in such a small shared space. She pretty much blew me off and said everyone was doing it so too fucking bad.

I always end up with the most asshole next door neighbors.

As a result of the experience, I have some fantastic tips for those of you living in a dorm and trying to have sex with your partner(s).

1. This is not the time to ‘express’ yourself. Moaning, screaming, and other such audible tones are not appreciated by your roommates, floormates, and next-door neighbors. Save it for when you’re in an apartment and for now, enjoy that you’re having sex at all.

2. Unless you have your own bathroom, NOT in the shower. Most universities only do a deep clean and bleach once a week, and other people have to use that shit. Not to mention that other people might be peeing or doing a #2 while you’re in there and they really don’t want a porn soundtrack to accompany them. Also because watching two people get out of a shower is one of the most awkward bathroom situations someone can be in.

3. If someone asks you to be quieter or stop your public shenanigans, STOP. Especially if it’s the RA.We’re not asking you because we hate you or because we want to ruin your life. We’re asking you because it’s fucking rude. Also because we’re trying really hard not to be passive aggressive and spend all night pounding away at your wall just to piss you off in return.

Please, for the love of god, take these to heart. Remind your friends. Don’t be an ass.


  1. 1
    Pixel says:

    I’m so very lucky that I currently live with a housemate who doesn’t mind spending the night elsewhere if I am going to be having my Master over…there’s no way to keep that sort of sex quiet! lol. trying to have a sex life in dorms was ridiculously difficult while still being courteous.

  2. 2
    Dangerous Lilly says:

    The college I went to didn’t have floor bathrooms, it was 2 rooms sharing the toilet & shower between them. That being said I always wished I had been at a college like that because I’m a pervy voyeur and would have likely enjoyed the shower antics, lol.

  3. 3
    Lucid Obsession says:

    I never had a problem until I broke up with a boyfriend and that meant spending more and more time in my room. My roommate’s boyfriend would be down every weekend, all weekend, and instead of asking if I could disappear for a few hours, they’d wait until they thought I was asleep. That was just the start of it too…

    1. 3.1
      Dusk says:

      Ugh, that sounds horrible. We had a visitor policy in our place where people could only stay 3 days over the course of 2 weeks, which helped in the situations where people were over so much their roommates were getting sick of it. That’s so awkward though, not even asking if you could go somewhere else.

      1. Lucid Obsession says:

        Our policy was you could have people any time, they just couldn’t be sleeping if they were the opposite sex. I could have gone to the RA about it, but my roommate was kind of an evil bitch and if I had said something my stuff would magically start disappearing or becoming broken.

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