M and I are “on a break” as of Saturday. He’s no longer listed as in a relationship on FB, or FetLife, and none of the pictures of us together are on his main FB page.
My heart is breaking all over again. It feels like I was just here, two years ago, feeling worthless and left out in the cold. I know so much of it is my fault, the fights, not treating him the way I should have for the last few months. But I thought after us talking last week that we were going to try one more time. I was ready, I was caring, and he was awkward when he came back. It’s because he knew what he was going to tell me, and I didn’t even see it coming.
I’m not handling it well, I’m just not. He’s confused and he needs time for himself and I just want to scream to some god and cry out in the night. All I want is to settle down with the one I love and be happy. It’s all I ask, it’s all I’ve craved since I was old enough to think for myself and now I’m heartbroken all over again.