This is my first ever condom review, and perhaps the beginning of a long road of disappointment. I love performing oral sex on M….mmmm…but I’m not a fan of cleanup and there are only special days when I really want a load of semen in my mouth. For the rest of the time, a good condom is necessary and flavours are a fantastic way to make things more fun! Unfortunately, not these ones.
My 24 pack of Tastees condoms came in a cute, colorful cardboard container such that one might see hanging on a shelf at CVS. It’s labeled “Tastees Assorted Flavored Condoms” and features a bright artist’s rendition of strawberries, grapes, bananas, mint leaves, and chocolate truffles. There’s also a comment, “If used properly, latex condoms will help reduce the risk of transmission of HIV (AIDS) and other sexually transmitted diseases”. Sweeeet. Educational information on a box, love it!
I couldn’t find an easy opening mechanism for the box, so I just ripped open the side of it. After looking at it again just now, I realized there’s a perforated area where the “box” meets the cardboard hanging flap. I guess I was supposed to open it from here so the top of the box could be opened and closed again easily from the top. I tried doing this, but ended up ripping up more of the box in the process. So, not particularly intuitive or helpful storage.
Inside I indeed found an assortment of all of the flavours listed. There were 5 of each except the mint, of which I got four. Most of the condom packets were connected in long strips which were simple enough to pull apart into individual pieces.
The condoms themselves didn’t impress me at all. For reference, I’ll tell you all that M and I normally use Durex Love condoms and that we find Trojans too baggy on him. These Trustees were also too baggy, and ultimately too long. I certainly wouldn’t use anything that size for penetrative sex, but even for oral the extra material got in the way. These condoms are also especially thick, and M commented that he couldn’t feel much sensation through them. After a few minutes we decided to toss the condom and go bare for the sake of actually getting him off. It was probably better that way; after the first few mouthfuls the flavour disappeared such that all I could taste was thick latex. Eeew.
For what flavor did exist for the first few seconds, here’s how they came out.
Chocolate: Was very much like those chocolate mints you get at some restaurants.
Strawberry: Had a nice strawberry-lollipop taste to it; not natural, but not sickeningly sweet either.
Banana: Definitely not. This one was more of a vanilla-caramel-hint-of-coffee ice cream flavour. Not very nice.
Mint: This one reeked of something similar to toxic waste when I opened it. In my mouth, it tasted like….nothing. Not latex, but no flavour either. Kinda reminded me of being at the dentist.
Grape: I was expecting this to be the worst (I hate grape), but it actually tasted exactly like grape Nerds which I love! Awesome.
Overall, I just can’t recommend these condoms to anyone. They were baggy, the flavour disappeared far too quickly to be of much help, and the Strawberry and Grape flavours were the only ones I liked. I legitimately ended up using a bunch of these for an art project because I didn’t know what to do with the rest. Thank you FunWares for sending these out to me to review! If you find the need to try them yourself, you can pick them up there. I’d highly suggest checking out something more interesting though, like the Alien Fleshlight.
As a bonus for all of you readers, here’s a quick glimpse into my testing method. I didn’t particularly want to use these condoms again, so I sucked on a dildo to the rest of the flavours!
This product was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
